My Feelings

Constantly seacrhin my brain dictionary to find a word, in order to find a perfect word to describe my feelings. Sum1 help me out pls, gimme a word which describes tis feeling. Nt sad, nt angry, nvr happy... Been feelin tis for da past 2days... Sumhow I can feel tat she's changin into sumtin else or nvr changed at all....

Whenever u wanna go sumwhere, u will alwys tell me or ask my permission to do so.. I wud allow u to go n hv ur freedom. I nvr restricted ur boundaries... I alwys trusted u bt jz 2days ago, it changed.. For sum reason, u din reply my sms or answer any of my calls. Wen u hv no credit, u'll tell me. Or wen u fin work, u alwys msn me. Bt wat changed? Where were u? Wat were u doin? Don u und tat sumtimes I wud worry or disappointed cz ur jz da same as 6mths ago? U nvr bothered tellin me or anytin.

It came down to 2assumptions. 1) U were wit ur ex, doin God noes wat or 2) U n ur screwed up family got probs n ur takin u stress out on me. If its 1, its fine, as it gives me a gud enuf reason to pursue sum1 I like. If its 2, Im more pissed. U jz cant get it into ur head don u? I told u bfore tat I hate it wen u tk ur stress out on me... I aso stress bt do u c me screwin da ppl I love or my frens?

Sumhow Im nt dat sad, or mayb tis is da end alrdy.. Wen my grandma prayed for me, God said a few interestin things bout me. 1) Gud in studyin, 2) Fateful wit woman n finally 3) Gonna hv 2 wives. Mayb I shud jz sit n wait for my 2 wives

Stupidity of Poor People

Im reli tired of helpin n tired bein lied to... I done everytin I cud for u, if u din planned f followin me, then y agree? Meanin u nvr reli planned to call them anw. Stay in Monash jz for da attachment. U tink da attachment was dam great? Wat do u learn there other than gossipin n playi n ur dam sudoku? Nth rite. Nt like ur so smart. U noe wat, u shud alrdy noe tis. Ur fuckin poor n u still wanna stay in Monash. U saved at least RM6k per semester. Ur alwys da one bout savin money. Use ur dam brains, hw is tis savin money? Monash each semester, saps 6k from u. Ur da one sayin Monash is useless, study so little compare to UTAR. Ur da one complanin everytin bout Monash, n yet u still wanna stay...


Rushin? No.. U jz wanna stick ur ass to da attachment.. Is da attachment gud? U kept complainin bout everytin there n sayin tat Monash students hv no face there... Hello, all these complaints came from ur mouth n yet u still wanna argue. Im nt forcin u to leave, mayb I am.. Cz u get to save so much money. U cant even return da RM10k u owe Monash. Til now, u aso haven settle.. Ur da one wastin ur parents money.. U cant settle da debt then, u tink u can settle it now? I can bet wit u, ur gonna owe them more....


Reli wasted my effort... I planned an alternative route for u, save so much money.. U dun wan... I reli duin even und. Poor ppl shud save money, bt ur diff.. Ur wastin even more money. Im richer than u aso can tink bout savin money.... Ur way poorer than any1 in Monash, waste money as if ur using tissues to wipe ur ass.. R u reli 22yrs old? U dun seem mature to me... Im tired of helpin u.. Mayb I shudnt help u afterall... I wont expect u to und cz u hv no brains... Poor ppl who waste money are stupid...


Sum1 in Inti deserves my care n support, sum1 who will und da true meanin of savin money.. U n I, v are over...

Types of Fuckers I Hate

1) Ppl who love to act nice n be angel to impress others

2) Ppl who tells me sumtin, A for example n does B later

3) Ppl who nvr learn from their mistakes n dare to say 'learnin is a tirin process'

4) Ppl who hangs up ur call n turns off their fon for hours

5) Ppl who purposely neglect ur calls bt not answering them for a minimum of 3days

Loneliness

Its been 2/3 weeks holiday, I cant rmb how long. Da oni thing I noe is the endless boredom n loneliness wont end.. I dun hv da mood to go out n there's no1 to go out wit.. Probably da oni thing Im hopin for is my attachment..

These few days, Im havin a foul mood.. Sad, disappointed, neglected.. I cant seem to get hold of myself. Lies broke my flames of hope, turnin them to ashes. Leavin me in an endless abyss of darkness n sorrow. Y did u gimme hope n crush me after? Im tryin to help u.. Mayb u don nid me in urlife, even if u said otherwise...

Mayb da oni thing tat wud keep me company bfore leavin for Ipoh is the meet ups wit Aunty n Suyi... Mayb tats all I nid afterall... So much problems, so little time.....

Weakness

Since da day we were borned, we are cursed with an inevitable fate. Each n every1 of us are cursed wit weaknesses and I mean, EVERYONE. Both u n I are no exception. Wanna bet? U noe ppl who Achilles was rite? He was considered a God of War.. Guess wat? His weakness was his dam heel. Kings, Queens or any superior motherfuckers all hv weaknesses. Then wat bout us? Obviously, v have too..

Solution?? It is nvr a solution to run or hide ur weaknesses by pretendin to b a person whom ur not.. U can lie from every1 bt nt urself, nt ur conscience. Da best way is to reflect on urself, learn n change. Why wanna run away? Runnin takes a life time, bt fightin requires oni a short period of time. Tink bout it..

4J Angels

Alot has happened recently, mostly consumed by breakups.. Well, I cant belief Im actually sayin tis.. Bt for da 1st time, breakup seemed rather soothin, pleasin n non-regretful. Y? Da ans was simple, da person whom I 'loved', well lets jz say it was a dream. Ppl dream all da time, its rather time-consumin bt doesnt hurt u in anyway. Well, Im nt hurt anyway. Jz relieved. Da last thing I did was punch da wall as hard as I cud, n everytin was over. Nope, no regrets. A little bit of tears n tat was all.. A new life begins.. After so much, da oni thing I feel grateful n blessed is da presence of everlastin support n care from my angels.. Lemme introduce y'all to them..

Angel No.1, Jasmine... Haven seen u since SPM n fate decided to let us meet in Murni's.. Our frenship, reappeared once again n I was happy to c u.. U were there wen I called u. Alwys findin alternatives to reply my sms wen u hv no credit. Goin out wit me n share wateva feelings I had.. Gave me advices n told me ur stories.. Although v haven met for a long time, v were still close n trusted each other.. Thank you.. Mayb I shud repay u by goin clubbin wit u once in a while, bt dun expect me to dance pls...PS: Our history has gone was back wen v were kids n I still hv da impression ur rich. LOL

Angel No.2, Jelly... Lets c.. I tink I noe u bout 3years oni bt da hard times v went thru... GG, countless.. A true fren, went thru everytin together wit me, countless advices, wasted so much time on me.. No matter hw selfish I was, I alwys listened to u.. U were there to listen n share my hardships. One who took da trouble to come down from Seremban to support me durin my hearin. Knowin it wasnt easy, n yet u came.. Here, I wanna say sry for 2things. 1, sry for smokin in front of u.. T.T. 2, sry for cuttin u off my life. Although I did tat on purpose, u understood y.. Reli sry n thanks.. PS: Im in Mantin, pls take Bus 818 (I tink) n come find me ler..

Angel No.3, Janet. No1 noes who's tis n I aint interested in tellin. U hv been a great companion.. U taught me alot in seein things in a more positive way. U showed me wat izit like to be wise n appreciate our own life. One who never said no wen I called. One who wud great me in open arms. I appreciated everytin u taught me. Finally, one who gave me knowledge, confidence, wisdom.. Im glad I met u n I reli appreciated every little thing u did for me.. Ur advices were priceless n will alwys remain in my heart.. Thx...

Finally, Angel No.4... Give it up for Dr. Tan!!!! Umm, I seldom speak seriously wen it comes to u. I mean, wen I look at u, ur nth bt happiness n joy. A cold-hearted person like me, can be melted down by u easily.. A person who will nvr return ur calls or sms cz she'z alwys BZ savin patients. By da word 'savin', I mean entertain.. Ur reli da best, tats all I can say. Ur da reason y Im still alive (other than da other 3angels).. There're alot of things I wish to put ere bt I cant seem to type them out, cz its too much. Among every1, I love u da most (Im nt biased!!!).. U were alwys there to catch me wen Im fallin.. Ur voice saved me from jumpin off a cliff.. A silent whisper of strength... A touch of love made things simple n elegant.. Finally, da warmth wen Im wit u...

Da 4 of u.... I hv nth bt appreciation n love... After so much, y'all have been standin by my side, walkin da same road as me. Counterin every single hardships together.. Tears of joy n happiness were shared. Laughter n sadness tagged along too.. All these elements made nt only me, bt us stronger.. Every step v made, constituted to a fine, invulnerable wall.. Thx to da four of u, I managed to turn da tides... Thank you, all four of u...

February

Abstract thoughts.
Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever.
Changing personality.
Attractive.
Temperamental.
Quiet, shy and humble.
Honest and loyal.
Determined to reach goals.
Loves freedom.
Rebellious when restricted.
Loves aggressiveness.
Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislike unnecessary things.
Loves making friends but rarely shows it.
Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious.
Realizing dreams and hopes.
Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure.
Romantic on the inside not outside.
Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift.
Tries to learn to show emotions.