3month Plan

Exams r finishin soon, n I cant believe for sayin tis. Im fuck tup tis time. For da first time in my education life, I feel so dam inferior.. Tis sem aint a gud time for me n my abilities deteriorated to a massive level. I cant seem to beat any1 tis sem, bt I'll try harder nxt sem.

Nxt sem..... Will I return to Monash after tis sem? I haven re-enroled yet cz Im tinkin whether or not I should stay in Monash. Wen I retrun to uni, I feel more lonely than ever. Feel so out of place n somehow restricted by sum unknown force. Cant seem to unleash my true capabilities. A subject to change, I may leave Monash n go IMU. Do wat there??? Dunno. Mayb Medicine or cont da current course. Da prb is da cb uni don accept credit transfer. GO Aus? Lagi fuck tup. 1 sem in Monash is RM16k. There, 1 sem bout RM30k. Tis isnt reli favorin my situation rite now, bt nevertheless, leavin ere is top priority.

I wont gv a shit bout wat ppl say if tey noe Im leavin. Wats da diff if I stay or leave? Its nt u who's sufferin bt me.. Y stay in a place where u cant even unleash ur true potential. Everyday I go uni, either I hv to wry bout seein bitches or meetin high class motherfuckers. Waste kaw my time. Its nt like u ppl can do anytin for me.. Im in a so fuck tup state wit not only studies, bt family too. I hv been stayin in my aunt's place for da past 2 n a 1/2 weeks. Y? Cz I cant stand my family..

Thank god my clinical attachment is in Ipoh for 2solids months. No nid to c useless ppl n dun nid to consider wtf is goin on. Cz my priority is to own da attachment n nt care bout anytin else. WIth good assessments, mayb IMU may accept me. Tats my current trump card.

I reli tot my love life is gettin better, bt its still as screwed up as it is. I dun wanna get thorn between 2ppl n make myself choose. Rite now, I seem to enjoy being alone agaon. Mayb unconciously, Im regainin my dark grounds n assimilate with my devil side. I may not like my old life, bt sumhow I tink it's better. I dun get hurt or dun nid to consider bout makin pppl happy or feel sad for ppl. I hate to feel sad or care for ppl. Wats da point for carryin a burden which doesnt belong to u?? I hv enuf probs of my own n I hv to deal with ur shits? No fuckin way.. Jz hope by da end of my attachment, I'll come up with a gud decision. I relidun hope to leave my frens ere bt if tats da last resort, I cud nt care less anymore.

Siginin off,
Yuki