There's 1thing I reli hate in people. Those who watched House Season 1, a patient once said 'Lies isnt wat people say, it's wat tey do'. Lyin is a far worse than hurtin sum1 physically. I reli hate those people who like to lie. If there's sumtin u wanna say, say it man. Im more open than u people. Mayb all of u fuckers out there tink Im a fuck tup bastard.. In fact Im, bt I listen to reasons, tats if u people r willin to tell me da truth.
I hv heard numerous lies these days. Recently, I felt so fuckin stupid n stayed awake til 6am in da mornin. Nt cryin, bt punchin da wall til my knuckles are swollen again. I was so furious wit myself. Tis new character of mine totally sucks. I reli prefer my old self bt its nt a decision Im willing to make yet. I dun wanna disappoint my 3J Angels.
PS: Angel, yest was fun n I was happy to c u concentrate as well. Keep it up ya
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Present Days
Exams are comin in a matter of days, n I mz say Im slackin behind. Alot of things are goin thru my head now. I jz dunno wat to do. Jz tat these few weeks I hv been very down n noody. A feelin I haven felt for years. N guess wat, Im smokin like hell n da worse part was I had trouble breathin n had chest pains. Who cares la cz I reli feel like dyin. I feel so dam worthless u noe. I nvr knew helpin n supportin ppl can be so dam tough. Mayb Jas was rite, v oni support ppl whom are nice to u. I guess ur nt in da list.
Last week wen I was drivin around my neighbourhood, I drove past places me n her spent time together. I admit I do miss da old times n tears wud start flowin down. Rite now I feel reli dumbfounded. I cant bear wit these feelings anymore. Mayb Jas was rite again, I shud be my old self again, jz a little nicer. Sum ppl may noe hw long it took me to seal my old self. To be specific, 2years. I managed to seal it bcz of her. I changed so much better bcz of her. She saved my life bt rite noe, she's reli pushin me off a cliff. I reli dun wanna pull my old self out again cz I cant turn back.
Rite now, Im reli contemplatin of leavin Monash. Bout my destination, I haven decided yet. Mayb IMU, UK, USW or UWA. Decisions are easy to make bt credit transfers are more tedious than I thought. Act, I reli dun wanna live in M'sia anymore. Mayb after tis sem, I leave either Aus, again UK or mayb Czech Republic. I hv said tis bfore n I'll say it again. I wont let any1 noe where Im goin, nt even Janice, Jelly, Jas or Ragu, even Jin. This time I reli plan to disappear from da world I used to live in n move on to sumwhere. Mayb tats best.
Rite now, da most important thing is past da cb exams n enjoy my clinical attachment. I'll fuckin work hard for it n obtain near-perfect assessments to maintain my reputation. N Im pretty sure it will help me in da future. Dun b surprised if I dun blog for 3-4mths.
Last week wen I was drivin around my neighbourhood, I drove past places me n her spent time together. I admit I do miss da old times n tears wud start flowin down. Rite now I feel reli dumbfounded. I cant bear wit these feelings anymore. Mayb Jas was rite again, I shud be my old self again, jz a little nicer. Sum ppl may noe hw long it took me to seal my old self. To be specific, 2years. I managed to seal it bcz of her. I changed so much better bcz of her. She saved my life bt rite noe, she's reli pushin me off a cliff. I reli dun wanna pull my old self out again cz I cant turn back.
Rite now, Im reli contemplatin of leavin Monash. Bout my destination, I haven decided yet. Mayb IMU, UK, USW or UWA. Decisions are easy to make bt credit transfers are more tedious than I thought. Act, I reli dun wanna live in M'sia anymore. Mayb after tis sem, I leave either Aus, again UK or mayb Czech Republic. I hv said tis bfore n I'll say it again. I wont let any1 noe where Im goin, nt even Janice, Jelly, Jas or Ragu, even Jin. This time I reli plan to disappear from da world I used to live in n move on to sumwhere. Mayb tats best.
Rite now, da most important thing is past da cb exams n enjoy my clinical attachment. I'll fuckin work hard for it n obtain near-perfect assessments to maintain my reputation. N Im pretty sure it will help me in da future. Dun b surprised if I dun blog for 3-4mths.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Gave Up
Wen Im typin this, regret n disappointment fills my heart now. I reli feel dam down. I haven been smokin, basically I quit smokin. Bt due to today's currect progress, I took 1step further to torture my lungs. I bought a box of cigarette. Wen my frens c me smoke, it's alrdy "Momo emo wey". I jz bought 1box, extrapolate tat. I dunno whether izit a coincidence anot, bt everytime I supported her, screw ups await me at da end of da road. Wat does tis mean? Simples, means I hv to gv up supportin u. No matter hw much I cared n supported u wen u needed me tat night, til da end u dare to say Im jz ur fren. Worse of all, u said tat u care for me bt wont bother showing it. WTF does tat mean? If in future v are together, how da fuck ur gonna care for me?
Im givin up everytin. I packed everytin single present she gave me n threw it down da river. Due to today's heavy rain, da package filled with memories drifted along da river n slowly, disappeared from my sight. I was sad bt it was a choice I had to make. I dun wanna support ppl whom they don show their appreciation. Wen u begged me for help n support,i gv it to u cz I reli tot u realized ur mistake. Bt from wat u told me today, I realized ur da same old shit I used to noe. In my mind now, oni 1sentence echoes repeatingly. The woman u loved is already dead. I realized tat was da fact.
Rite now, I hv to gv myself sum time off. After da exams, Im fuckin stayin in Ipoh for 2solid months. Im decidin to delete my current msn, change hp number, leave Monash mayb goin UK. Tis place is too fuck tup for me. Rmb wat u put in ur sms? U tot I reli loved u n u were stupid for believin tat n I chose Janice. Whether anot I choose Janice is different thing. U said u love me n dun wanna be wit me now n hv me wait. Jz bcz in Monash got things goin on, u jz came up wit an excuse sayin tat now isnt da proper time to fall in love. Additional things u said like if v werent in Monash, we can b together. Wat fuckin shit is tat? Wen will u learn tat wat ppl tink n where ur standing doesnt affect ur decision?
Im selfish? Wat bout u? Cb, u fuckin cry n need my support. Once again I was stupid enuf to give it to u. U hv my advice then wat? Say tat Im jz ur fren. Wat da FUCK is tat? I shud hv gave up on u, knowin tat ur nth more tat a dipshit. U get wat u wan from me n ur ditchin me. Ur havin a hard time? Reli? U wanan compare wit me. For defendin ur ass, I went against 7 of my best uni pals n now tey ditched me. My family is gettin more n more screw up til Im askin them to divroce. I hv missed 3weeks of classes n exam is fuckin nxt week. Worse of all, I supported u few days ago n today I was fucked by u.. U tink Im havin an easy time? Wen ur fallin who's there to catch u? ME!!!! Bt where were u wen I needed u? Its alwys Janice catchin me. Even Janice n I may not be couple, bt I can seriously say tis. I love her more than u.
As tis moment, if u wanna continue threaten me u wanna kill ur-fucking-self, go ahead. Jz make sure ur blood doesnt touch any part of my body. I mayb lustful for blood, bt I aint interested in yours. I said tis bfore n I'll say it again, U'll regret today's decision. Dont ever hope Im comin back to ur ass. No fuckin way. As long as Im alive, even if ur da last woman on earth, I would rather fuck my own ass...
Im givin up everytin. I packed everytin single present she gave me n threw it down da river. Due to today's heavy rain, da package filled with memories drifted along da river n slowly, disappeared from my sight. I was sad bt it was a choice I had to make. I dun wanna support ppl whom they don show their appreciation. Wen u begged me for help n support,i gv it to u cz I reli tot u realized ur mistake. Bt from wat u told me today, I realized ur da same old shit I used to noe. In my mind now, oni 1sentence echoes repeatingly. The woman u loved is already dead. I realized tat was da fact.
Rite now, I hv to gv myself sum time off. After da exams, Im fuckin stayin in Ipoh for 2solid months. Im decidin to delete my current msn, change hp number, leave Monash mayb goin UK. Tis place is too fuck tup for me. Rmb wat u put in ur sms? U tot I reli loved u n u were stupid for believin tat n I chose Janice. Whether anot I choose Janice is different thing. U said u love me n dun wanna be wit me now n hv me wait. Jz bcz in Monash got things goin on, u jz came up wit an excuse sayin tat now isnt da proper time to fall in love. Additional things u said like if v werent in Monash, we can b together. Wat fuckin shit is tat? Wen will u learn tat wat ppl tink n where ur standing doesnt affect ur decision?
Im selfish? Wat bout u? Cb, u fuckin cry n need my support. Once again I was stupid enuf to give it to u. U hv my advice then wat? Say tat Im jz ur fren. Wat da FUCK is tat? I shud hv gave up on u, knowin tat ur nth more tat a dipshit. U get wat u wan from me n ur ditchin me. Ur havin a hard time? Reli? U wanan compare wit me. For defendin ur ass, I went against 7 of my best uni pals n now tey ditched me. My family is gettin more n more screw up til Im askin them to divroce. I hv missed 3weeks of classes n exam is fuckin nxt week. Worse of all, I supported u few days ago n today I was fucked by u.. U tink Im havin an easy time? Wen ur fallin who's there to catch u? ME!!!! Bt where were u wen I needed u? Its alwys Janice catchin me. Even Janice n I may not be couple, bt I can seriously say tis. I love her more than u.
As tis moment, if u wanna continue threaten me u wanna kill ur-fucking-self, go ahead. Jz make sure ur blood doesnt touch any part of my body. I mayb lustful for blood, bt I aint interested in yours. I said tis bfore n I'll say it again, U'll regret today's decision. Dont ever hope Im comin back to ur ass. No fuckin way. As long as Im alive, even if ur da last woman on earth, I would rather fuck my own ass...
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Two Js
Rite now, Im pissed n disapponited at wat sum ppl say. Its nt like I care anw. Now here tis out, there are two things I wont gv a shit in my life, frens n family. These two things r jz a switch away. I can turn them on or off as I like it. In ur face motherfuckers. Bt there r exceptions. I'll oni discuss bout Jelly n Jan.
Jelly, I noe u hv been tryin hard to help. I reli appreciate. Ur like a sister to me. I noe wat I shud d oredi, cz I aint blind like last time. Everytin is over, u hv my word. I noe I tried pushin u away last night, n it was wrong. I jz dun wanna drag u into my stuff u noe. I dun mind ppl humiliatin me cz I dun gv a shit. Bt I hate it if tey extrapolate the humiliation to da both of u. Jan, u hv been there willingly wen I needed u. As u claimed, 'I din do anytin'. Ur 'din do anytin' scheme earned my appreciation, respect n love for u. Like I told u, I reli like u. Although I dun care wat those bastards/bitches say bout me, bt I dun wanna get u involved. I mm seh tak let ppl hurt u. Haha, mayb u tink Im crappin, bt I jz dun wan u to get hurt cz of me. From wat da both ppl said bout me, I dun reli feel like tryin to kaw u liao. Haha, mayb they're rite, Im nth.
To da both of u, I love da both of u. Jz gimme a little more time to sort things out. Bt I dun wanna come to a decision tat I hv to leave da both of u to avoid bringin trouble to da both of u.
PS: If u two bastards are readin my blog, keep tis is ur cb brains. I dun gv a damn wat u noe or who u got it from. Whether my frens abandoned me anot, I cud not gv a shit. Say wateva shits u ppl wan. I wont let fuckers like u both bring me down n say shit things to divert my concentration. Rmb tis, I wont lose to motherfuckers like u. Call me a lustful person or wateva la. I am n if u noticed da title of my blog, I clearly stated this. "If u dun like it, fuck off'. Since ur nt fuckin off means u like me n so shut da fuck up
Jelly, I noe u hv been tryin hard to help. I reli appreciate. Ur like a sister to me. I noe wat I shud d oredi, cz I aint blind like last time. Everytin is over, u hv my word. I noe I tried pushin u away last night, n it was wrong. I jz dun wanna drag u into my stuff u noe. I dun mind ppl humiliatin me cz I dun gv a shit. Bt I hate it if tey extrapolate the humiliation to da both of u. Jan, u hv been there willingly wen I needed u. As u claimed, 'I din do anytin'. Ur 'din do anytin' scheme earned my appreciation, respect n love for u. Like I told u, I reli like u. Although I dun care wat those bastards/bitches say bout me, bt I dun wanna get u involved. I mm seh tak let ppl hurt u. Haha, mayb u tink Im crappin, bt I jz dun wan u to get hurt cz of me. From wat da both ppl said bout me, I dun reli feel like tryin to kaw u liao. Haha, mayb they're rite, Im nth.
To da both of u, I love da both of u. Jz gimme a little more time to sort things out. Bt I dun wanna come to a decision tat I hv to leave da both of u to avoid bringin trouble to da both of u.
PS: If u two bastards are readin my blog, keep tis is ur cb brains. I dun gv a damn wat u noe or who u got it from. Whether my frens abandoned me anot, I cud not gv a shit. Say wateva shits u ppl wan. I wont let fuckers like u both bring me down n say shit things to divert my concentration. Rmb tis, I wont lose to motherfuckers like u. Call me a lustful person or wateva la. I am n if u noticed da title of my blog, I clearly stated this. "If u dun like it, fuck off'. Since ur nt fuckin off means u like me n so shut da fuck up
Friday, October 10, 2008
Personal Choice
Rite now exams r coming. Reli no mood to study though. Everyday keep Dota oni.. Oh well, back to topic. Im contemplating to leave Monash n go IMU. Bt since ur goin there, I guess I hv to go sumwhere else to pursue my dreams. Tis place aint suitable for me anymore. I guess its gud bye to da frens ere...
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Trust
I wont trust any of u ppl anymore.. My original theory was rite, ppl u meet in uni r nth bt distractions. N to me, u all r nth more than assholes in my life. If u tink its had to talk to me, then say it to my fuckin face. Dun come up wit lies sayin tat my frens hv to pretend to b nice wit me so I wont get angry. Both of u (R n G), wen u all nid support, u both fuckin come to me. SO u all turn ur back against me. Very nice of u eh. Lie to me n come up wit stories. I knew u ppl wont b so gud. Plain disappointment.
To me, u both r worse than servants or dogs. U ppl dun deserve death. U ppl deserve suffering. If there's such thing a God, I hope he noes wat to do wit da both of u. If not, I'll tk things in my onw hands n deal wit u both personally.
And Jas, if ur reading tis, Thx for last night. I reli appreciate it
To me, u both r worse than servants or dogs. U ppl dun deserve death. U ppl deserve suffering. If there's such thing a God, I hope he noes wat to do wit da both of u. If not, I'll tk things in my onw hands n deal wit u both personally.
And Jas, if ur reading tis, Thx for last night. I reli appreciate it
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