Gave Up

Wen Im typin this, regret n disappointment fills my heart now. I reli feel dam down. I haven been smokin, basically I quit smokin. Bt due to today's currect progress, I took 1step further to torture my lungs. I bought a box of cigarette. Wen my frens c me smoke, it's alrdy "Momo emo wey". I jz bought 1box, extrapolate tat. I dunno whether izit a coincidence anot, bt everytime I supported her, screw ups await me at da end of da road. Wat does tis mean? Simples, means I hv to gv up supportin u. No matter hw much I cared n supported u wen u needed me tat night, til da end u dare to say Im jz ur fren. Worse of all, u said tat u care for me bt wont bother showing it. WTF does tat mean? If in future v are together, how da fuck ur gonna care for me?

Im givin up everytin. I packed everytin single present she gave me n threw it down da river. Due to today's heavy rain, da package filled with memories drifted along da river n slowly, disappeared from my sight. I was sad bt it was a choice I had to make. I dun wanna support ppl whom they don show their appreciation. Wen u begged me for help n support,i gv it to u cz I reli tot u realized ur mistake. Bt from wat u told me today, I realized ur da same old shit I used to noe. In my mind now, oni 1sentence echoes repeatingly. The woman u loved is already dead. I realized tat was da fact.

Rite now, I hv to gv myself sum time off. After da exams, Im fuckin stayin in Ipoh for 2solid months. Im decidin to delete my current msn, change hp number, leave Monash mayb goin UK. Tis place is too fuck tup for me. Rmb wat u put in ur sms? U tot I reli loved u n u were stupid for believin tat n I chose Janice. Whether anot I choose Janice is different thing. U said u love me n dun wanna be wit me now n hv me wait. Jz bcz in Monash got things goin on, u jz came up wit an excuse sayin tat now isnt da proper time to fall in love. Additional things u said like if v werent in Monash, we can b together. Wat fuckin shit is tat? Wen will u learn tat wat ppl tink n where ur standing doesnt affect ur decision?

Im selfish? Wat bout u? Cb, u fuckin cry n need my support. Once again I was stupid enuf to give it to u. U hv my advice then wat? Say tat Im jz ur fren. Wat da FUCK is tat? I shud hv gave up on u, knowin tat ur nth more tat a dipshit. U get wat u wan from me n ur ditchin me. Ur havin a hard time? Reli? U wanan compare wit me. For defendin ur ass, I went against 7 of my best uni pals n now tey ditched me. My family is gettin more n more screw up til Im askin them to divroce. I hv missed 3weeks of classes n exam is fuckin nxt week. Worse of all, I supported u few days ago n today I was fucked by u.. U tink Im havin an easy time? Wen ur fallin who's there to catch u? ME!!!! Bt where were u wen I needed u? Its alwys Janice catchin me. Even Janice n I may not be couple, bt I can seriously say tis. I love her more than u.

As tis moment, if u wanna continue threaten me u wanna kill ur-fucking-self, go ahead. Jz make sure ur blood doesnt touch any part of my body. I mayb lustful for blood, bt I aint interested in yours. I said tis bfore n I'll say it again, U'll regret today's decision. Dont ever hope Im comin back to ur ass. No fuckin way. As long as Im alive, even if ur da last woman on earth, I would rather fuck my own ass...